The Kindness Experiment was great fun for me. To me it was an easy task. However, when I moved on to Week 3 to focus on Organization, well, that one seemed to take a different path. It wasn’t that I didn’t encounter organization in everyday life, it was just that it didn’t occur in my own personal life, in my own home, any more than it did before the week started.
This didn’t just happen to me. Subby has convinced me not to move forward into this area and so I didn’t make a plan. I didn’t make it my focus. Absolutely, I focused on aspects having to do with organization at work where I work with others, but not for myself, the one who matters most. At home, I am scattered, unruly, disorganized and drained. So I listened to Mark’s Intro to Week 17 video again and I realized that I had chosen not to give myself permission to be organized, to be that different person on my own and only for myself. I let Fear get the better of me on that one because it could. It also made me realize that there are some adjustments I need to make or add to my DMP, because clearly I need to adjust for this inability so that I continue to grow in this area in order to grow in my life.
I really had to “Sit” through this one quite a bit this week. I have put too much on my plate, too much on my mind, but most of all, I have too little emotional and physical support. I’ll be honest. I’m lonely. Not for friends, but for family. I realize I’ve often taken on so much in these past few years, because it distracts me from my ache for family. I ache for the comfort of being with family, of being an integral part of a family, the giving and taking of it all. I grew up as a very family-oriented gal, adoring family reunions where others didn’t, spending a great deal of my young adult life caring for aging grandparents (I was blessed to have all four until age 30) and parents, and then as a single mother whose child is grown and gone. This being alone, no, not just alone, but being “familyless” has been very difficult for me. I thought time would take care of it, but no, time actually makes it worse. The fact is being without family doesn’t suit me at all. And God help me, I don’t need one more cat.
Thank goodness there are new days, new weeks to look forward to. I’m going to rework my DMP this week…no…today! Also, I am permitting myself to focus on Organization–in my own home for me–one more time. New Day, New Week!
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Aloha, person’s name. It’s me again, your Blog Rover friend, Loren. Hard to believe X weeks have gone by since my last visit!
Have you ever experienced anything comparable to MKMMA?, Me neither! So many powerful concepts to tease the mind, move the body, and arouse the spirit.
“Don’t play small, answer the call!”
Doesn’t mean that much, until you know the context. Then you realize it means everything, because it’s the call to take the hero’s journey – the journey to reclaim our authentic self – the part of us that knows why we are here. It’s not to find the meaning of life. It’s to give meaning to life by knowing exactly what we need to be doing to make the most of our unique, magnificent potential to serve others; and in so doing serve ourselves. Sorry, for pretending not to know that you already know this. Some things just tend to bubble out, and this is one of them.
Another is to let you know how well you’ve written this post. So well, in fact, I was right there with you in your shoes, beginning to feel a bit lonely, and starting to get the blues… Until I remembered the importance of focusing on things I want, rather than don’t want – focusing on what it’s like living in the new life I’m creating, rather than the loneliness that in doing so, I’m actually exacerbating. What do I know, though?
According to Og, “YOU ARE NATURE’S GREATEST MIRACLE!” Do you believe him? If so, why?
I believe him, and that’s why I believe in you.
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Hang in there i have lost all my family as well, so i know what being alone is like. Connect as you can in the alliances, it might help you in finding some people to care about more actively.
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Jacquie, I know the in-your-face pain of lack of family is, well, painful. And it seems like this week you have had a very power, specific insight into how Jacquie cares for Jacquie. What a perfect first step to further revelation and progress. & I’m sure it can all happen with adding any extra kitties. Profound noticing this week, beautifully articulated. Namaste.
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Thank you, Linda. My new week has gone well. I rarely worry to great extent about the lack of family….companionship. I’m more able to “switch it up” to say me thing more positive, more productive.
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